初恋

First Love. What would that remind you of? Or what would you hope it to be like? Famous poet Wisława Szymborska (one of my favorite poets by the way) writes of 2 very different encounters:

The conventional, lovey dovey, impossibly romantic form:

Love at First Sight

They both thought
that a sudden feeling had united them
This certainty is beautiful,
Even more beautiful than uncertainty.

They thought they didn't know each other,
nothing had ever happened between them,
These streets, these stairs, this corridors,
Where they could have met so long ago?

I would like to ask them,
if they can remember -
perhaps in a revolving door
face to face one day?
A "sorry" in the crowd?
"Wrong number" on the 'phone?
- but I know the answer.
No, they don't remember.

How surprised they would be
For such a long time already
Fate has been playing with them.

Not quite yet ready
to change into destiny,
which brings them nearer and yet further,
cutting their path
and stifling a laugh,
escaping ever further;
There were signs, indications,
undecipherable, what does it matter.
Three years ago, perhaps
or even last Tuesday,
this leaf flying
from one shoulder to another?
Something lost and gathered.
Who knows, perhaps a ball already
in the bushes, in childhood?

There were handles, door bells,
where, on the trace of a hand,
another hand was placed;
suitcases next to one another in the
left luggage.
And maybe one night the same dream
forgotten on walking;

But every beginning
is only a continuation
and the book of fate is
always open in the middle.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

The above poem was of course made popular among Chinese due to it being the central theme of the movie 向左走，向右走. Pretty poem, be it in English or Chinese, and I bet, even better in Polish. Actually I think there might be some errors in the translation above, but that's not for me to judge. I learned during the China Synergy Programme (CSP) that translations aren't really easy to do; a lot of meaning gets lost.

Let's move on to the next, the unconventional, honest form:

First Love

They say
the first love's most important.
That's very romantic,
but not my experience.

Something was and wasn't there between us,
something went on and went away.

My hands never tremble
when i stumble on silly keepsakes
and a sheaf of letters tied with a string
-- not even ribbon.

Our only meeting after years:
two chairs chatting
at a chilly table.

Other loves
still breathe deep inside me.
This one's too short of breath even to sigh.

Yet just exactly as it is,
it does what the other others still can't manage:
unremembered,
not even seen in dreams,
it introduces me to death.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Oh, how the author belittles first love in this poem (probably because of all the emphasis and attention people and the media tend to give it), how seemingly unimportant she places it amongst "the others". How fleeting is this 'first love'...

So I continue interpreting the poem, until I get stuck at the very end where she places a sentence that just confuses me. "It introduces me to death"

Despite all she said about the first love, it is unique as it is, unique as an unremembered love. It was the first to introduce the author to love. It was the first, the first of many loves and relationships to come. And to love leads to certain death. The willingness to sacrifice for love. The "everlasting", "eternal", "til death shall we part" vows in a relationship. Lethal. Brilliant. Was würden Sie sagen?

Well unfortunately I will never fully understand the true meaning of the poems, as the originals were in Polish. But as they say, love transcends all boundaries, language included.

~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~ ~~~~

Before I proceed, please view this video clip I saw last year:



Yasmin Ahmad, the Malaysian film director I respect the most, has once again managed to pull off an amazing advertisement. Simple, like Wisława Szymborska; almost naïveté. Just had to grin after watching it. No wonder it has won so many accolades around the world!

Oh the look on his face! =)

Whither me?

Me @ Duomo di Firenze, 2007

After roughly 3 more months I will be coming to the end of my 3rd year in my 4-year engineering course. I'm kinda approaching a crossroads in my life. Which is why I made a promise to myself earlier this year that I'll make a decision by the end of this year (preferably earlier) on where I'll go after graduation.

I've more or less narrowed down my options to these 3 sectors:
1. Engineering
2. Banking/Finance (option 'inspired' by Eric)
3. Foreign Service/Ambassadorial (option suggested by Jiinjoo)

Of course the first step to take is to know more about each. Recently i've been focusing particularly on the Banking sector, going for asset/wealth management talks, investment talks and the like. Some people find it strange, or downright a waste of time, for an engineering undergraduate to go into banking.

Well first of all I wasn't really sure what I wanted to do when I entered uni, so to continue going down the engineering path may not exactly be the right path.

Secondly, I was terribly ignorant about banking, business etc. (and didn't bother to find out more) before I entered uni. Blame it on poor financial knowledge. It was after taking the Business Finance module that I found business, banking, finances etc. to actually be something that I can probably engage in.

And lastly, engineering pays are well known to usually not commensurate with the professional education that engineers have gone through.

Nevertheless, for whatever I choose to do later, these few aspects must be taken care of:
1. A reasonable pay
2. Opportunities to work overseas; international environment
3. Opportunities where my language skills can be put to good use
4. Good opportunities to advance; promotions

But now my main focus would be to gain work experience from my internship and complete my university education with first class honours.

Despite the uncertainties, the future looks bright and I'm lovin each day =)

Veränderung - Ein neuer Anfang

I needed some change, so here's my new blog.

So why am I 'ditching' my old blog... Well, with this new blog it's kinda like starting afresh, which is something that I need in my life once in awhile. Getting stuck in a rut of old ideas, old mindsets etc. is something that I'm all too familiar with.

So with this symbolic new beginning I wish to make some changes. Change for the better. I've constantly labelled myself an introvert and pessimist, but I believe I've made quite a progress in the past few years to overcome my shyness and pessimism. I need to persevere on.

Still there are some immediate challenges to overcome, like the fight with my eternal enemy Procrastination. I'm making some progress but I still need to put in more commitment. Apart from that I'm trying to rely less on my parents for money so for my entire internship period I (hopefully) won't call them for money. =P

Me @ Anglican House, 2004